Definition
by Design Girl
Summary: Joan and Adam develop a “definition” for their relationship.
1. The Dance

TITLE: Definition (formerly "The Dance")  
  
DATE: 2/1/2004-2/5/2004  
  
RATING: G  
  
SPOILERS: Everything up through "Recreation"  
  
SUMMARY: Joan and Adam develop a "definition" for their relationship.  
  
CATEGORY: Romance, General  
  
DISCLAIMERS: Joan of Arcadia and all of its characters are the creation and property of Barbara Hall, CBS and Sony Pictures. This story is for pure entertainment and not for any profit at all.  
  
AUTHOR'S NOTES: This is my first attempt at fan fiction and proved far harder to write than I had imagined. At least writing it helped to pass the time between "Recreation" and the start of the February sweeps. It started as a one-part story, but taking the suggestions of the varied reviewers out there, I added another chapter and am working on Chapter 3 (which will likely be the last).  
  
FEEDBACK: Thanks to those of you who reviewed the first chapter and encouraged me to add on. I'm interested to hear what you think on my additions.  
  
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Chapter 1: "The Dance"  
  
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"Hey?"  
  
Adam looked up and turned toward Joan in response to her quiet plea.  
  
"Ya wanna dance?"  
  
The look between them varied from uncertainty, to quiet acceptance, and a slight grin spread between them. Joan reached her hand toward Adam and he turned to take her into his arms.  
  
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As he danced slowly with Jane on the sidewalk, Adam didn't really have a clue how they had gotten there. Not the dancing part, but the rest of it. Then he thought, ya know, did it really matter? Their relationship had more ups and downs than a rollercoaster.  
  
The emotions that had plagued him since last Friday were all still really jumbled in his mind. What does someone say to somebody who has helped to lift a huge burden from your mind, and who has helped dispel a fear that you have lived with for three years? "Thank you" just didn't cut it. Though he was sure that Jane's involvement with the note was far from the only reason why he now found himself dancing with her under the streetlights.  
  
He really wasn't sure exactly where he and Jane stood in their relationship, or where they would go from here. If they weren't ready for "romantic love", what were they ready for? Surely something more (or at least he desperately hoped, more) than co-sub defectives and chemistry lab partners.  
  
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As they danced under the streetlights, Joan could not stop smiling. Amazingly, things had seemed to come right with her world, or at least for the moment. Adam and she, she hoped, were at a point of understanding, but she really had no idea how they had gotten there. First, friends through their sub-defective status, then one-sided enemies through her lack of imagination, now, what? Going back to "just friends" status, even modified to "best friends", didn't seem to be right, or to be enough. When he had said that the days of him calling her "Jane" were over, it had made her feel as if she had lost something precious. She wanted to hold onto her special connection with Adam that made her "Jane" rather than just "Joan".  
  
She'd said that maybe they weren't ready for romantic love, but, if that were really true, what were they ready for? Right now, she was happy to just to have him smile at her, laugh with her, and this holding stuff wasn't really all that bad either. (Actually, it was pretty cool.) Maybe they could just stay here dancing and holding on to one another for what, the next two and a half years until high school was over.  
  
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Joan stepped out of Adam's embrace to complete a dance turn. Returning to his arms with a smile and a little laugh, she pulled back to look up at him still wearing her silly grin.  
  
Her grin infectious, Adam asked, "That was pretty good, plan on taking up dancing?"  
  
"No, it must be my partner." Joan replied as she nestled into his embrace to continue their dance.  
  
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As he recalled the events of the last week, Adam was glad that Joan and Mrs. Giradi had been there to help him get through reading the note from his mom. He had read it a dozen times since that morning and he had privately shed some serious tears over it. When Mrs. Giradi had first finished reading the note, he had wanted to break down right there. The tears had been in his eyes. Mrs. Giradi had known he needed a hug, some type of personal contact to allow him to feel again and begin to accept that things in the world might just come right after all.  
  
After that brief contact though, he had turned to go, he had needed to be alone. To cry, to laugh, to allow himself a private moment to revel in the knowledge that he had not been the reason his mom had done what she had done. Jane had understood. Or at least he had thought she had when they had looked at each other before he'd picked up his bag and left. He had tried to convey to her in that single, brief moment his immediate feeling of joy, his thanks, his peace, his need (at least for a time) to be alone.  
  
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Joan thought back to the scene in the Giradi kitchen last Friday morning when Adam had come by to ask her to help him with the note from his mom. After talking to Adam the evening before at his shed, she was not sure that he would ever speak to her again. Even given that possibility though, she had known that she had to do whatever she could to stop him from, what, suicide?  
  
At the hospital, God had hinted to her that Adam was considering just that. She had known herself that Adam had seemed more and more withdrawn as the days had gone on, he wasn't doing his art, he wouldn't talk to her, and he wouldn't look at her. But Joan had not been really good at understanding God's hints lately, and she sure hadn't been communicating clearly with Adam recently either. But understanding and poor communication aside, she knew that she didn't have a choice except to go to Adam and confront him. She cared too much for him to ignore his pain.  
  
When he walked into the kitchen that morning, she had not known what to expect, but that he had come to her, spoke volumes. When what was in the note brought good ripples to Adam, she had been so glad. She had watched the emotions play across his face and had understood his joy. They hadn't needed to exchange words to understand that he needed some personal time and space to come to terms with what the note had said and all that it had not.  
  
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From the time they first met, Adam had felt a connection to Jane. Unchallenged. It was obvious why he would be attracted to her as a girl. A guy would have to be blind not to notice Joan. But Adam knew that his attraction to Jane was far beyond a purely physical one.  
  
When he had seen her at the science fair, they both had known that much, at least for the time being, would go unsaid. The day was one for simply exploring and enjoying life. Analyzing, rationalizing and attempting to understand what had occurred three years ago, or Thursday night when Jane had come to his shed, or a few hours before when he had gone to ask for her help, were all best left for another day. It had felt great to be out in the world and to begin to take notice again without the fear that you were the cause of something too horrible to imagine. Jane had understood how important it was, just taking some time to be with him, to hold hands, to laugh and to be alive.  
  
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When Joan had seen Adam at the science fair, Joan couldn't seem to contain her happiness. Things were improving, not only for her having Adam back as a friend, but also for Adam himself. Just spending time with him, seeing him laugh, and smile, seemingly more aware of his surroundings, made her day. By unsaid, mutual consent, they kept their conversation far from the topic that had been the catalyst to initiate the change in their relationship.  
  
To have him reach out and take her hand, to have him look at her with something other than disappointment and disgust in his eyes, well it was just.  
  
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Then, it was like the world had exploded around him. Obviously whatever it was that Grace and Luke had constructed had been way more than what they bargained for; flying motors, broken glass, falling dinosaurs and feathers.  
  
As the feathers drifted down through the room he had noticed how they were landing in Joan's hair and on her sweater. But also in that moment, he had noticed Jane. Had noticed her for what she was, his friend, and his protector, someone whom he had come to rely on to make each day of his life seem complete. As he'd looked at her, Jane had seemed to understand what was running through his mind. And, as they kissed, somewhat tentatively, yet tenderly, time had seemed to be suspended around them.  
  
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When Luke had yelled to "Get Down!" it was as if the world around her had exploded, and the shower of feathers that resulted turned the room into some kind of magical scene. As she turned toward Adam's laugh and had looked into his eyes, she had realized that they were going to kiss. It hadn't been that he was going to kiss her, or that she was going to kiss him, it was that "they" were going to kiss. At that single moment in time she realized that everything that had gone before between them seemed pointless and insignificant and everything that would come in the future would be altered by that single event.  
  
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Regrettably, at least for Adam, the moment had come to an end as the world, feathers and noise intruded back upon them. As their kiss had ended there had been little time for either an attempt to understand what had happened or for any embarrassment that it had. Salvaging the exhibits, cleaning up feathers and sharing in the success of Luke and Grace's project had left him little opportunity to attempt to analyze or even better to attempt to re-capture the moment.  
  
Over the last week, Adam had been sure that Joan had not been listening to anything that he had been trying to say, through a look, through words or even through his more than obvious behavior. Grace had seen it and had more than once commented that he had apparently gone over the edge. Jane had gotten lost somewhere in there behind planning her party, and behind her reaction to her parent's plans for their weekend away. So many thoughts had run through his mind. Had he missed something in her gaze at the science fair? Was the happiness he felt spending time with her, holding her hand, and laughing with her all one-sided? Did their kiss mean as much to her as it had meant to him?  
  
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Joan knew that over the past week she had been avoiding Adam's attempts at continuing the closeness they had experienced at the science fair, and she knew that her behavior had once again hurt him. She had been blatantly rude and outwardly oblivious to what Adam in his quiet, unobtrusive way had been trying to say. Truth be told though, she had really not been as oblivious as she had seemed.  
  
God had told her just a few minutes before that Adam was confused. Though that was, at least to her, somewhat always the case, Joan could see how, as God had said, her recent behavior could induce new levels of confusion for Adam. Chalk her behavior up to the unbalanced hormones of a sixteen year old girl, the phase of the moon or whatever.  
  
She also supposed that on Adam's side of the equation he was trying to deal with the hormones of a sixteen year old guy. Ech, not to go there.  
  
Back to the point, where were they now and, where to go from here? For as much as Adam might be confused, Joan knew deep inside that she had been and that she remained scared. She was scared that she would hurt Adam again. Above all else, it was important to her that she not be the cause of any further pain to him. He had had enough of that already in his life. She had known that because of her erratic nature, her too quick temper, and more than likely through some future assignment from God, she would do just that, hurt Adam. So instead of accepting Adam's attempts to become closer, she had used feigned ignorance, the party and whatever else she could to keep any further closeness from developing.  
  
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Now, as they were dancing under the streetlights to music only they could hear in their heads, Adam was not sure what to do, or what to say. If they weren't ready now for what he felt he desperately needed and wanted, would they ever be?  
  
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Joan wanted to tell Adam that she was afraid to move forward in a relationship with him, and why. Maybe she should take God's suggestion and openly redefine her relationship with Adam. Maybe talking with Adam would help her to understand where they could go from here.  
  
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A car pulled up across the street and Adam glanced up to see his father behind the wheel.  
  
"Hey, there's my dad, I've got to go." He said still holding Joan and knowing that he really didn't want to go at all since it would mean that he would have to let her go.  
  
"Yeah, okay." She replied, thinking that she really did not want him to go at all.  
  
Pulling back from their embrace, he asked, "Can I call ya tomorrow? Maybe we can do something, yo?"  
  
"Sure, that would be great."  
  
"Okay, I'll talk to you then." Adam slowly stepped completely back from their embrace, delaying as much as possible the moment when he would break the physical connection between them.  
  
As Adam turned and started toward the street, Joan saw her chance slipping away to reassure Adam (and herself) that there was something in the future for them. "Hey!"  
  
Adam stopped and turned back to look at Joan, watching her as she walked across the lawn to join him once again. "What?"  
  
"Thanks for the dance, it made this whole party experience worth it." She offered as she reached him.  
  
"Sure, anytime," He said, smiling and knowing that the memory of her standing there looking at him would be one he would treasure. He turned to go again, but before he could move away, he felt Joan touch his sleeve.  
  
"Good night, Adam." Joan offered as he turned back to look at her one more time and realized that she was leaning in to kiss him.  
  
As Adam responded to meet her kiss and their lips touched, Joan knew that everything would be alright between them. Maybe not immediately, but she would try be patient. Didn't everyone say that the special things in life were worth waiting for?  
  
They each pulled back from the brief kiss and Joan was thrilled to see Adam smiling at her. "Good night, Jane."  
  
He stepped backed, turned and continued across the street, joining his dad in the car.  
  
Joan remained standing there on the sidewalk, watching as Carl Rove pulled the car away from the curb and drove off down the street.  
  
As Adam and his dad turned the corner out of sight, a slight grin crossed Joan's face and before long her grin had widened to a bright smile and she turned to go back inside.  
  
It was great to be Jane once again. This time she was going to make every effort to make sure that she always remained that way. 


	2. Family

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Chapter 2: Family  
  
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Joan reentered the house, walking past Sgt. Williams. Even though her mind was somewhat distracted after spending the last few minutes dancing with Adam on the sidewalk, she did not fail to overhear the Sgt. comment into her cell phone, "Okay Will, we'll see you around noon tomorrow."  
  
Turning to her fellow detective, the Sgt. said, "Will said that he would be returning first thing in the morning, and that we should plan to meet with him around noon. We had better get down to the station and get our report on the stakeout written up."  
  
Walking over to Joan who had been putting her coat back in the hall closet, the Sgt. said, "Goodnight Ms. Giradi, I assume there will be no further noise complaints from this area tonight."  
  
"Good night, and no, there will be no further noise. And oh yeah, thanks again, for, well you know, for not saying anything."  
  
Joan saw the detectives out of the house, closing the door after them. Worried though about what she had just overheard, Joan turned to locate Luke.  
  
Luke was crashed out on the sofa, feet up, eyes closed, and a cool cloth on his forehead.  
  
Grace stood at the end of the sofa, attempting to toss popcorn into Luke's open mouth. So far it seemed that she had been unsuccessful, with two dozen or so popcorn kernels spread across his shirt and hair. Luke, apparently asleep, remained totally oblivious to her actions.  
  
"Hey Giradi, I'm glad the uncontrollable rabble has finally departed. Now I can get down to some serious fun, like annoying Science Boy here. Where's Rove?"  
  
At the mention of Adam's name Joan glanced back toward the door and a stupid grin spread across her face. Turning back to Grace, she offered, "His dad just picked him up."  
  
"Ok, that's cool. Wait a minute, what's with the stupid grin when I mentioned Rove's name? "  
  
"No particular reason."  
  
"What, do you think I just fell off of a turnip truck? On second thought, no maybe you shouldn't tell me. After observing the behavior of a number of your party guests this evening, I am not sure I could stomach any further tales of teenage romance."  
  
"Believe me Grace, even if I understood what just happened * and * I felt I could tell you, we have a much larger problem."  
  
"Wait, what could be more difficult than attempting to describe, no doubt in minute detail, the on again, off again relationship between two members of the sub-defective class? "  
  
"How about parents arriving home a day early from their supposed 'weekend' away?"  
  
Grace glanced around the Giradi living room and laughed, "That does sound like somewhat of a big problem given the condition of home, sweet, home here."  
  
"Thanks for that wonderful observation, Grace, perhaps instead of honing your three point shot with popcorn, you could wake up Science Boy there and introduce him to Mr. Clean?"  
  
Joan turned to head for the kitchen to get the trash can. Grace, given the opportunity and no less than a direct request to annoy Luke, turned back to the couch and unceremoniously knocked Luke's feet to the floor.  
  
"What?" Luke said.  
  
"Hey Sleeping Beauty, time to wake up. The Evil Queen has issued her decree and I believe it has something to do with the business end of a mop."  
  
"What?" Luke repeated still somewhat groggy from his impromptu nap.  
  
"Don't ask me, something about parental units returning home a day early. I would suggest though that you take the hint and get up before your sister comes back and turns you into stone. Given your current state, you would be a hit with all the birds in the neighborhood."  
  
Snickering, Grace turned to follow Joan into the kitchen to see what she could do to help.  
  
"Great, that's just great. Parents home a day early and the house looking as if the Mongolian hordes have been here. I told Joan having a party was a bad idea."  
  
Luke, finally awake enough for Grace's comments to sink in, sat up. As he did popcorn fell from his shirt and hair onto the floor.  
  
"What the? Popcorn?..Grace!" Resigned that he had a date with a mop, Luke stood up and headed after Grace toward the kitchen.  
  
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Adam got into the car and buckled his seat belt as Carl Rove pulled away from the curb.  
  
"Son."  
  
"Dad."  
  
Adam figured he should likely say something else. "Hey, thanks for coming to pick me up."  
  
"No problem. Was that Joan I saw you talking with on the sidewalk?"  
  
"Yeah, it was."  
  
"So it would appear the two of you are on speaking terms again."  
  
"Yeah, I guess you could say that."  
  
Carl Rove glanced over at his son and smiled. Adam was starring out of the car window, with a slightly stupid grin on his face and seemingly talking to himself, as if trying to figure something out. He was pretty sure that Adam and Joan had been having more than just a casual conversation there on the sidewalk, but he thought it best to keep his observations to himself. Carl was just pleased to see Adam starting to act a little more like most other sixteen year old guys, showing some interest in members of the opposite sex, and yet not understanding them one bit.  
  
For the last several months, he had watched the positive changes in Adam's behavior. That was at least until the incident at the art show when everything had seemed to fall apart. Then last week, Adam's behavior had once again taken a radical shift. Whether Adam would admit it or not, Carl believed pretty firmly that most of the changes had been due to the arrival in Arcadia of Joan Giradi and her family.  
  
Together the Giradi family had made quite an impact on Arcadia, or at least within Carl's realm of exposure. The Police (now Sheriff's) Department was reorganized, the city government dissolved, and from what he had heard, the science fair at Arcadia High last week had been one to remember for a long time. From his perspective though, the only important impacts were those that affected his son.  
  
Since his mother's death, Adam had not really shown much interest in going to school or doing much at all with other kids. Yes, he did hang around some with Grace Polk, but they had known each other for years and he thought their relationship was mostly driven through the need to present a unified front to the rest of the world they knew as school. Otherwise, Adam was a loner and, Carl feared, extremely lonely. Adam's primary outlet of expression had always been his art. Carl was convinced that Adam created his unique sculptures out of haphazard junk to maintain some connection to his mom. Elizabeth had always loved whatever Adam had created.  
  
Carl knew that Adam still grieved for his mom, he himself grieved deeply still for Elizabeth and all that they would never share, but father and son had never been able to talk about how they individually handled their grief much beyond their weekly trips to the cemetery.  
  
Carl wanted his son to be happy. What parent wouldn't want that for their child? But in Adam's case, he also wanted him to move beyond the void that Elizabeth's death had made in his life. Perhaps Joan Giradi, even given her erratic behavior, was the person to help fill that void. The way Adam acted whenever Joan was around seemed to indicate that might be the case.  
  
"Do you have any plans for tomorrow son?"  
  
"Yeah, thought I might go out to the shed for awhile in the morning. Then I was gonna call Jane and we were gonna go do something. Why? Did you need me for something?"  
  
Carl smiled inwardly, overlooking Adam's reference to Joan as Jane.  
  
"No, no, not at all. I was planning on helping the neighbor replace a kitchen faucet in the afternoon. Just wondered what you had planned."  
  
"Hey dad?"  
  
"Yeah son?"  
  
"Thanks for wondering."  
  
"No problem."  
  
Carl pulled the car into the Rove driveway and Adam started to get out.  
  
"I'll see you in the morning when I get home from work."  
  
"Sure Dad. Goodnight."  
  
"Goodnight Adam."  
  
Adam had gotten fully out of the car and started to close the door, but before he did he turned and stuck his head back in.  
  
"Dad?"  
  
"Yes Adam?"  
  
"Do you ever get to the point where you totally understand them?"  
  
"Well son, I suppose that it would be possible, but in my experience, no you don't."  
  
"Okay, thanks. I'll see you in the morning."  
  
"See you then."  
  
As Carl Rove backed out of the driveway and headed down the street toward the station he was smiling. Yes, it definitely appeared that knowing Joan Giradi was having an effect on Adam's behavior and general outlook on life. He only hoped that the impacts would continue to be positive ones from now on.  
  
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It was about 11 AM the next morning when Adam knocked on the Giradi back door. Expecting Joan or one of her siblings to answer the door, he was quite surprised to see Chief Giradi (he was going to have to stop thinking of him as "chief") answer the door.  
  
"Good morning, Adam."  
  
"Good morning Mr. Giradi."  
  
"Come on in. Is Joan expecting you this morning? "  
  
"Well, sort of."  
  
Adam entered the kitchen noticing Mrs. Giradi at the stove and the smell of bacon in the air. As he glanced around the room, he noticed that the portions of the Giradi home he could see looked spotless, as if last night's party had never occurred.  
  
Helen looked up from her task, "Oh, Hello Adam. How are you today? Have you had lunch?"  
  
"Hello, Mrs. Giradi. And no, I've not had lunch yet."  
  
"Would you care to join us then? Nothing special, just BLT's and vegetable soup. It seems as if Joan and her brothers were pretty hungry while we were out of town. There weren't very many other options in the refrigerator."  
  
A slight grin crossed Adam's face as he recalled the feeding frenzy that had gone on the night before and Luke's continual attempts to keep the party "guests" from eating the cupboard bare.  
  
"Thanks for the invitation, Mrs. Giradi, but I wouldn't want to impose. I just came over to talk with Joan."  
  
"It wouldn't be an imposition at all," Will said as he closed the back door and followed Adam into the kitchen.  
  
"Oh, okay then, if you're sure it isn't any problem, and if you think that Joan won't mind."  
  
"Joan's fine with it," came the response from above as Joan came down the stairs and entered the room.  
  
To Adam, Joan looked tired this morning, but given the state of the Giradi house last evening when he left and the "neat as a pin" appearance it presented this morning, he had an idea why Joan didn't get much sleep. Truth be told, he had not slept all that well either, but his lack of sleep had been due to other reasons.  
  
"Cha, Jane."  
  
"Morning Adam. I thought you were going to call before you came over."  
  
"Yeah, I know. I tried to call several times, both on the regular phone and on your cell. One was busy and I got your voicemail on the cell. I thought maybe your phone was off the hook or something."  
  
"I'm afraid the busy phone is my fault Adam," Will offered. "I've been on it pretty consistently this morning."  
  
"And I'm sorry about the cell phone. I forgot to charge it last night and it was dead this morning," Joan added.  
  
"No problem, just as long as it's okay I just headed over ya know."  
  
"It's fine, really. We did say we were going to do something today and I wanted to talk to you about that stuff from yesterday."  
  
Adam, who had glanced over toward the activity near the stove, snapped his gaze back to Joan at her comment. He was not sure what Joan meant by the last of what she said. They hadn't actually talked about a lot yesterday other than the "not being ready" stuff. Hopefully, whatever she would have to say would help to answer the questions that had kept him awake a good portion of the night.  
  
"Time for talking later," Helen offered. "Maybe even over the dishes. It is time to eat now."  
  
"Great, I'm pretty hungry" Will said. "Helen, are you still available to drop me off at the station on your way to the grocery? Remember I have a noon appointment with a few of the detectives."  
  
"Sure Will," then turning, she called up the stairs, "Luke.lunch is ready."  
  
Getting no answer, Helen asked, "Joan, is your brother up?"  
  
"Yeah, I heard Science Boy rattling around in his room before I came down," Joan replied.  
  
"Coming," Luke called as he came down the stairs. "Good morning family units. Hi there, Adam."  
  
Adam raised his hand in greeting toward Luke.  
  
Noticing Luke's mood, Helen commented, "Well you're pretty chipper this morning. What has you so 'ready to face the world' today?"  
  
"Oh mom, did you have to ask?" interjected Joan. "Now we will have to have all of the itemized details, categorized by level of importance and benefit subset, and in the end he still will not have given you a real answer."  
  
"Enough! Let's sit down to eat," Helen said. "Adam, why don't you take Kevin's seat over there? Rebecca called and Kevin had to head down to the paper so he won't be joining us."  
  
As everyone took a seat and the meal began, light banter started up around the table. All of the Giradis made an effort to involve their guest in the conversation, but their efforts were not overly blatant. Adam found that he was enjoying himself. With just him and his dad, mealtime conversation at home consisted of usually only a single topic. Balancing multiple conversations on a variety of subjects made lunch at the Giradi's a pretty cool experience.  
  
"Okay Luke, now, again, what has you cranked up today?" Will asked.  
  
"Do you remember that physics contest that I mentioned last week, the one that involved documenting research that demonstrates everyday interaction of physics and people in the real world? Of course, since the contest is only for high school students it has the strictest limitations on the actual cost of the research that is undertaken. With such limitations, the possibilities for using specialized source material are just not viable. I was having difficulty identifying the obvious over the unique. Finally, yesterday Grace offered a suggestion that will work perfectly. I'm going to begin my research today."  
  
Joan turned to Adam and said, "See, I tried to tell them, but they never listen. Ask a question, receive way too much information in response, but in the end you never really get an answer to your question."  
  
Adam just smiled in response to Joan's comments and went on happily munching his BLT sandwich.  
  
"Okay Luke, for those of us perhaps more limited in our understanding of the nature of your proposed research, could you possibly share with us what that will be?" Will asked.  
  
"Not another rail gun I hope," Helen commented.  
  
Helen's comment caused Joan and Adam to look up quickly at each other, both had a slight blush spreading across their face. The comment brought to both of them an immediate memory of the science fair. Not so much the rail gun itself, but rather of the kiss they had shared amid the disaster of the project's success.  
  
"No, of course not mom, a rail gun would not at all be an appropriate example for this research. The application of electromagnetic propulsion is not at all common place. The..."  
  
"Luke!" Will interrupted. "In five words or less, what is your research to be today?"  
  
"Oh, we're going bowling."  
  
"Bowling?" repeated Helen.  
  
"Yeah, bowling. Grace and sibling unit here said they would help out since the research will require multiple bowlers to establish an effective data set. Joan said she was going to ask Adam if he wanted to go along as well to expand the data pool even further."  
  
"Well brother dear, if you ever learned to give short answers to questions asked of you, perhaps someone else could get a word in edgewise and actually * ask * Adam if he wanted to go along." Turning to Adam, Joan added, "Sorry about that roundabout way of asking you to go along. Wanna go bowling with us today?"  
  
"Cha, Jane. Sounds like fun. Did Luke say Grace suggested it?"  
  
"Yeah he did."  
  
"Just checking," Adam offered. "Should be fun to watch."  
  
Joan was not sure what Adam's last comment had meant but she'd ask him later.  
  
As the meal wrapped up, Helen and Will coordinated with one another the times and locations of their errands for the day. They both got up from the table and began preparing to leave. "Joan, would you and your brother clean up the table and the dishes? Your father and I have to get going or he will be late for his meeting."  
  
"Ah, Mom, I've got to finish preparing my data collection worksheets before we have to leave to pick up Grace," Luke commented.  
  
"Oh no brother dear, I'm not doing the chore thing by myself while you go crawl into your computer for another hour."  
  
"Ah, come on Joan..." Luke whined.  
  
"I'll help you Jane," Adam offered.  
  
"No, Adam, there is no need, you're our guest," Helen said.  
  
"Not a problem, Mrs. Giradi. I'm pretty good with the dishes thing; I do them all the time at home."  
  
Jane stood up and turned to Adam "Since you're the guest here at least I'll let you pick...wash or dry? Either way I'll appreciate the help since Mr. Physics there is too focused on spending the afternoon with Grace at the bowling alley to care about much of anything else."  
  
"Joan I told you I have to have an adequate data set to provide a basis for my research. Grace being there too will benefit the project results."  
  
"Yeah, sure. Just one thing though, you might want to avoid telling Grace that you view her solely as a source of data. "I'm afraid the outcome might not be a pretty sight."  
  
With lunch over, Will and Helen left for their meetings and errands, Luke went to his room to finish his preparations on the computer, and Adam and Joan were left in the kitchen alone except for the remnants of lunch and a pile of dirty dishes.  
  
"Okay Adam, big decision making time, wash or dry?"  
  
"Wash of course; the bubbles make it an adventure to find out what's at the bottom of the sink."  
  
Joan laughed, "Don't tell me that you're considering marine archeology as a career alternative?"  
  
With the jokes setting the mode as one of fun, Adam and Joan completed the kitchen clean-up quickly, even given Adam's attempts to put soap bubbles on Joan's nose and her attempts to even the score by swatting Adam with the dish towel. After they had finished they both sat down at the table and waited for Luke to come down so they could leave to pick up Grace.  
  
"Thanks for helping out Adam. It was a lot more fun doing dishes with you than with my geek brother. He always wants to discuss the surface tension of soap bubbles or some other just 'oh too thrilling' topic the whole time."  
  
"Cha Jane, no problem. Lunch and everything was cool. Like I said before, I hope you're okay with me joining you and your family and all."  
  
"Adam, why wouldn't I be?"  
  
"I don't know, I guess it's just that I don't know what's cool and what's not between us."  
  
"What if I told you I was trying to figure that out too? That's why I said earlier that I wanted to talk about the stuff from yesterday. I was hoping we could try to figure out where we can go from here with out getting mad at each other and all that."  
  
"I think it would be cool if we could do that."  
  
"How about later after we get done helping out Luke with his project?"  
  
"Sounds good."  
  
"Well I suppose if we're going to do this bowling thing, we'd better get going. I told Grace we would pick her up around 1:00. I'd better go tell Science Boy to get with the program."  
  
"Hey Jane, you did know that Grace is like this great bowler didn't you?"  
  
"No. What's up with that?"  
  
"Well it's just she's been doing it for forever. Something about it being a family activity. When she was little she used to do the whole league thing."  
  
"Does she still?"  
  
"Naw, it just wouldn't fit Grace to do something like that anymore."  
  
"Then why do you think she suggested it?"  
  
"Don't know, but if I could guess I'd say it has something to do with annoying your brother."  
  
"Maybe doing this research thing won't be so bad after all. We get to spend sometime together, and we likely get to watch Grace beat the pants off my brother in bowling, reinforcing his true geek status even further. Sounds like it will be great fun. Let me go see what's keeping him."  
  
As Joan got up from the table and headed for the stairs, Adam was thinking that today might just turn out pretty cool as Jane just said. She'd actually seemed to want to spend time together with him and they'd agreed they would try to figure out where they could go from here with their relationship. Maybe things were looking up, definitely, today was something to look forward to. 


	3. Moving Forward

Chapter 3: Moving Forward  
  
As Joan had guessed the outing to the bowling alley had been great fun. Not so much the bowling part but more so the interaction between Luke and Grace. Grace simply enjoyed using every opportunity to annoy Luke and then act as if she had not done whatever it was on purpose. Meanwhile, Joan and Adam had enjoyed the day in their own right, just spending some time together, laughing and having fun.  
  
Hungry after their bowling experience, the four decided that they would get pizza before heading home. One large half pepperoni half mushroom pizza later, they were sitting in the booth at the pizza place talking over their plans for the remainder of the weekend.  
  
"We don't have any chemistry homework due Monday, that's a relief," said Joan.  
  
"Yeah, especially since I have a five page paper due in American Literature," added Grace.  
  
Adam looked up at Grace and asked, "Yo, Grace, I thought you liked that class."  
  
"I do as long as we deal with 'contemporary' American literature. Some of the works we are reading right now were written in the late 1800's and they just don't hold my interest ya know."  
  
"Well, I plan on spending the rest of the weekend compiling my research from the bowling alley." Luke commented.  
  
Joan laughed, "When we don't see you around the house for the next day or so, I'll be sure to tell Mom and Dad that you are being held hostage by your computer. Or do you plan to come out for meals?"  
  
"Am I really that bad?" Luke asked.  
  
The other three glanced around and in unison turned to Luke and said, "Yes!" Then they all started laughing and Luke looked suitably embarrassed.  
  
Getting up from the table, Joan said "Hey, I'm going up to get a refill, does anyone need anything?"  
  
Receiving a chorus of "No" from around the table, Joan headed up to the counter.  
  
"Can I have a refill please? It's Diet."  
  
"Are you sure?"  
  
"What? Am I sure I want a refill, or am I sure it's diet?"  
  
"Actually, neither Joan, I was asking if you're sure you're ready to discuss your relationship with Adam."  
  
Realizing the clerk behind the counter was actually God in a new form, Joan asked, "Taking up a new career now, making pizza?"  
  
"Yes, well you know, I'm all about choices, and that's seems to fit well with pizza, choosing between toppings."  
  
"Please enough of your snide humor today."  
  
"You didn't answer my question Joan."  
  
"What, about talking with Adam?"  
  
"Yes, that's the one."  
  
"May I remind you, Your Greatness, that * you * were the one who told me, just last night I might add, that I needed to tell Adam how I feel. Now what's with the hints that I might not be ready to do just that?"  
  
"Ah, Joan, did I say you weren't ready, or, did I ask you if you thought you were?"  
  
"Okay, I guess you did ask me about me, but what's the deal? I'm just trying to follow through on your suggestion of defining where Adam and I are in our relationship."  
  
"Just keep in mind that * you * aren't the only one who needs to talk about how they feel and what they need from your relationship."  
  
"Okay, so you're telling me that I need to consider how Adam feels in all this. I thought I was. We even talked about talking about it. I thought that was what this whole definition thing was about, to give us a place to start over from."  
  
"Yes, but are you prepared for what he might tell you?"  
  
"What's that supposed to mean?"  
  
Setting her refilled glass on the counter, God smiled and turned away with his signature wave.  
  
Knowing she was once again left with more questions than answers, Joan started back to the table (mumbling to herself on the way) to join Adam, Grace and Luke.  
  
"That took long enough," Grace commented as Joan returned to the table.  
  
"Oh, well yeah, the clerk felt that he had to impart his great knowledge on making the right choices."  
  
"The right choices in what, pizza toppings?"  
  
"Yeah, pizza toppings."  
  
"Hey, when we finish here can you drop me off at home Joan before taking Grace and Adam home? I wanted to get started on the data compilation."  
  
"You guys aren't in so much of a hurry that I can't take geek here home first are you?" Joan asked Adam and Grace.  
  
"A few minutes won't matter but I do have to get a paper done this evening that's due Monday. I'm a prisoner to my computer tonight like Science Boy there."  
  
"I can wait til you drop Luke and Grace off Jane. Anyway, I wanted to show you something in my shed" added Adam.  
  
Joan looked up at Adam, smiling and said, "Great."  
  
Continuing, she asked, "Are we all ready to get going?"  
  
Receiving agreement from the others, the group all grabbed their coats and headed out to the car.  
  
-----------------------------------------  
  
As Luke got out of the car, Joan called after him, "Luke, please tell Mom and Dad and I will be over at Adam's for awhile. I should be home by 8:00."  
  
"Sure, Joan. Adam, Grace, I'll see you all at school on Monday."  
  
"Cha, Luke", offered Adam.  
  
"Later, dog boy. Perhaps we can go bowling again sometime," snickered Grace.  
  
As Joan backed the car out of the Giradi driveway, Grace had the opportunity to watch Luke's face go pale.  
  
-------------------------------------------  
  
After Grace had gotten out of the car at her house, they had said their goodbyes and Joan had headed toward Adam's house, neither Joan nor Adam seemed to know how to break the silence in the car.  
  
Finally, Joan asked, "Did you say that you wanted to show me something in your shed Adam?"  
  
"Cha, Jane, but I would rather show you than tell you ahead of time, yo."  
  
"Adam?"  
  
"What, can't I have a secret or two of my own?" he laughed.  
  
"Adam, I didn't mean to say that you couldn't have secrets. I'm just anxious to know what it is. I have been ever since you mentioned it at the pizza place."  
  
"Well, you'll just have to wait."  
  
"Oh, alright. I'll try to be patient," Joan said with an anxious sigh.  
  
-----------------------------------------  
  
As Adam and Joan got out of the car in the Rove driveway, Joan noticed Carl Rove crossing the yard from the neighbor's house.  
  
"Hey there Adam, Joan."  
  
"Hello Mr. Rove. How are you this evening?"  
  
"Just fine. And you two, what have you been up to?"  
  
"We went bowling this afternoon to help Joan's brother Luke with a project, then we went and got some pizza. Right now we're on our way out to my shed. There's something that I wanted to show Jane."  
  
"Sounds like you've had an enjoyable day so far. I've spent my afternoon under a sink so I'm on my way in to get cleaned up. It was nice to see you again Joan."  
  
"Same here Mr. Rove."  
  
-----------------------------------  
  
After entering the shed, Joan turned around to face Adam and said, "Okay, I'm here and the suspense is killing me, what was it that you wanted to show me?"  
  
"Cha Jane, you must be awful around Christmas waiting to open presents."  
  
"Yeah, I'm afraid so. My family almost threatens to disown me every year."  
  
Smiling, Adam placed his hands on Joan's shoulders and turned her around to face his workbench, nudging her forward toward the stool then gently down.  
  
"Here sit. Now close your eyes."  
  
Before lifting his hands from Joan's shoulders, Adam leaned in close to her ear and whispered, "And no peeking."  
  
Joan, caught up in the anticipation of the moment, was pleasantly surprised when Adam actually reached out to touch her and then even more so when he had whispered so quietly in her ear. In the six months they had known each other, other than when they had kissed at the science fair, Adam rarely ever initiated physical contact between them. Now it seemed he realized that she would welcome his touch. It was also pretty cool that he'd known she was thinking about peeking.  
  
Adam walked from behind Joan over to a shelf on the side of the shed and removed a small sculpture from among some other items. He turned back to the workbench and set the sculpture down in the center, moving to stand across the workbench from Joan so that he could see her reaction.  
  
"Okay Jane, you can open your eyes."  
  
Joan opened her eyes and immediately noticed the small sculpture sitting on the table in front of her.  
  
"I made it for you Jane."  
  
"For me? Adam, you're doing your art again?"  
  
"Cha Jane."  
  
"Adam, that's great!"  
  
Reaching out and gently touching the sculpture, she asked, "Is it us dancing?"  
  
Adam smiled and nodded, overjoyed (and trying not to show it) that Jane could see in his art what he had intended it to show. Looking up from watching how she was gently touching what he'd created, he said, "Last night after I got home I couldn't stop thinking about it so I came out here and well...it just came together."  
  
"Adam, I don't know what to say, except, it's beautiful. Thank you."  
  
"Cha Jane." Joan knew that she couldn't wait any longer to start the discussion with Adam. Adam had once again made her feel special by creating the sculpture for her. She felt she had to clear up any of the misunderstanding that might linger between them from when she said that maybe they weren't ready.  
  
"Adam, I've been thinking a lot about the things that I said to you last night and I realize that I need to explain myself."  
  
"Not necessary Jane."  
  
"Yes, it is. We both said earlier that we don't know what's cool and what's not between us right now. We have to figure it out."  
  
"Okay," Adam offered as he moved some of his junk collection off of the other stool and pulled it up across the workbench from Joan. "What did ya wanna say?"  
  
"Most of all, I guess I want to say that I'm sorry."  
  
Adam, not sure he was ready to have this conversation at all but knowing that something needed to happen to stop the rollercoaster he and Jane were on, looked up quickly, immediately believing Jane was about to end their relationship before it even really got started and before he got to put in his two cents.  
  
"Ya sure know how to get to the point fast."  
  
"What?"  
  
"Well, you're saying that you're sorry. That usually leads to, or follows, something bad."  
  
"Adam, would you let me finish, please?"  
  
"Go ahead," Adam offered, nearly sure he really didn't want to hear anymore.  
  
"Adam, I'm sorry that I said that we maybe weren't ready last night. Somehow in there I think I needed to add a lot more explanation. I wanna do that now."  
  
Interrupting, Adam said, "I understand Jane, I think, it's just, like, you know, you don't feel that way about me. I can be okay with that if that's what you want."  
  
"Adam!"  
  
"What?"  
  
"Didn't I ask you to let me finish?"  
  
"Sorry."  
  
"Ya know this is not easy for me cause I want to say all these things I'm thinking all at once and they just aren't coming out right."  
  
"I'll listen to it all Jane. Go on."  
  
"Okay, here goes...Adam I said what I said last night cause I didn't know what I wanted then, or maybe I knew what I wanted but didn't want to admit it to myself. Over the past week I've just been so happy to have all that bad stuff behind us and to be back to being friends that I was avoiding thinking about, or dealing with, where our friendship might lead us."  
  
Knowing that whatever Jane was trying to say wasn't easy for her, Adam reached out across the workbench and took a hold of her hand where she had been running her finger across the sculpture.  
  
"I've thought about it a lot since last night and I guess the easiest way to say what I have to say is that I'm afraid."  
  
Adam was trying to track all of what Jane was saying without interrupting again, but when she said she was afraid, he couldn't stop himself.  
  
"Of me?"  
  
"No, Adam, not of you. I'm afraid of me. I've hurt you so many times in the few months we known each other, and I did those things when we were just friends. If we were more than friends, I can see myself really messing up and doing more stupid things that would take it * all * away, not only the 'more than friends' part, but our basic friendship as well. I don't think I can deal with causing you any more hurt, I care too much for you to do that. And, you don't deserve to have someone in your life that way that hurts you all the time. So I guess I thought that if we just stayed as friends and avoided the 'more than friends' part that maybe I wouldn't have as many chances to screw up."  
  
"Is that it?"  
  
"Well, most of it. There's more but I guess that's the main reason I said what I did last night."  
  
"Okay then, my turn. Are you ready to hear my side of this conversation?"  
  
"Yeah, I guess so"  
  
"It's okay if you do."  
  
"What's okay?"  
  
"It's okay if you do stupid things, yo. Though maybe if you could avoid anymore stupid attacks related to my art that would be better."  
  
"Adam, how can you say that it's okay for me to hurt you?"  
  
"Cha Jane, getting hurt is part of life. Happens all the time. We don't have to like it, but we do have to deal with it. That is if we want the good stuff too. The..."  
  
"Good stuff?"  
  
"Now who's interrupting?"  
  
"Sorry."  
  
"The good stuff between us. Think about it, there is some kinda connection between us. I don't know how, or why, or where it came from but it's there and all the stupid things you say you've done to hurt me so far haven't been able to break it. Even when some of them have been pretty bad, yo."  
  
Adam, uncomfortable with connecting so many thoughts together and saying them out loud, released Joan's hands and stood, turning to fiddle with some of the junk along the wall. He knew he had to go on and explain the rest. Jane needed to hear it, and he needed to say it.  
  
"Jane, from almost the first time we met you have been able to see * me *. Not the 'me' on the outside that everyone else sees but who I am inside. The only other person who even comes close to being able to do that is Grace and we've known each other for years. You just showed up one day in Arcadia and in my life and it was like, Wam!, she gets me. And now I just wander around half the time trying to figure out what I'm gonna do about it."  
  
"It was kinda the same for me ya know. I mean it's not as if I have that many friends and I guess I just don't want to do any stupid stuff to hurt the ones I do have."  
  
"Jane, how do you know I won't do stupid stuff that will hurt you? I'm a sixteen year old guy. Somewhere in the definition for sixteen year old guys is the line, 'does stupid stuff on occasion'."  
  
"Other than ignoring for weeks all my attempts to talk to you and to apologize, you haven't really done anything so far to hurt me."  
  
Adam turned back toward the workbench taking his seat again and once again reaching to grasp Joan's hands in his. "The point is though that I probably will sometime. If your fear of hurting me is what's keeping you from thinking we're ready, don't sweat it. I'm willing to take the chance, providing that you're willing to take the same chance too"  
  
"Adam, are you sure, I mean, there's lots of stuff going on in my life that I just can't seem to control and there's stuff I've not told you that I'm not ready to tell you or anyone yet and..."  
  
"Jane, I'm sure."  
  
"There you go interrupting again."  
  
"Maybe that's why we get along so well, we have the same bad habits, yo."  
  
Laughing, Joan met Adam's gaze, "Okay, so what do we do now? It's not as if my experience with this kinda thing has been what you might call all that great."  
  
"And like I've much experience to go on either?"  
  
"Maybe we can just take it slow and come up with the 'what' as we go along."  
  
"Okay, I can accept that. Just I want ya to talk to me when something's bothering you. Stop trying to answer everything on your own. We don't do so bad as a team in chemistry, maybe we can try it with just life in general, yo? Part of this has got to be to remember that it isn't just 'you' and just 'me' in this ya know it's like...."  
  
"Us."  
  
"Yeah. Us."  
  
The two sat across the workbench from one another, holding hands, and each other's gaze. As with so many other previous times in their relationship, there was really no need to say anything further out loud for them to understand what the other was thinking. Granted, the unspoken communication didn't work all of the time, but maybe as this thing between them progressed, they would get better at understanding the harder stuff too.  
  
Joan noticed that Adam seemed to want to ask her something else but that he didn't seem to know how to phrase the question.  
  
"What?"  
  
"Jane, I was wondering, um......, does your definition of 'take it slow" include kissing?"  
  
Joan smiled, "Seems to me that that could be one of the best parts of going slow."  
  
"Unchallenged."  
  
Still grasping her hands, Adam stood and walked around the workbench to stand next to Joan then urged her to stand and face him.  
  
"Adam, I'm going to make mistakes with this."  
  
"I will too Jane."  
  
"I guess that if you're willing to take the risk, then I should be willing to the same risk. I am ya know, willing to take the risk that is, cause... well... the other part of what I needed to tell you is that I want this to work."  
  
"Unchallenged Jane. I want it to work too. More maybe even then I can tell you."  
  
As they stood there, Adam released Joan's hands from his and moved his one hand to her hip and the other to her cheek. Touching her cheek softly he tilted her head up slightly, and touched his lips to hers. The kiss they shared was gentle and full of meaning and promise.  
  
After a moment they pulled back from each other just far enough to focus on one another.  
  
"As much as I would like to continue this particular part of our discussion, it's getting late and I should probably head home" Joan offered.  
  
"Cha, and I'd better go in and hang with my dad for a while since we don't have much chance to do that during the week."  
  
"Call me tomorrow?"  
  
"Unchallenged, but I rather see you in person."  
  
"Why?"  
  
"Hard to kiss you over the phone, yo."  
  
Adam leaned forward gave her a quick kiss. Laughing, they turned together, Joan picked up her sculpture, and hand in hand they walked out of the shed toward her car.  
  
-----------------------------------------------  
  
As the two left the shed and rounded the corner of the house toward the driveway, they failed to notice that someone was watching them.  
  
From inside the house, Carl Rove, who had been busy preparing dinner, happened to glance up and look out the window just as his son and Joan had come out of the shed. From his observation of the pair, Carl was sure that whatever they had been talking about in there had been a good thing.  
  
As he turned back to his dinner preparations, Carl was smiling.  
  
~ The End ~  
  
------------------------------------------------ Author's notes: Thanks to those who have read and reviewed so far. I'm interested in how you all think it turned out and of course I interested in continuing to read all of the great fan fics you all share as well. 


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